Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Abby Got It Wrong: Daughter Embarrassed By Mother Lying Around

This is a segment where we feel Abby got it wrong, so we offer up our own advice regarding readers' problems.

DEAR ABBY: When I went to visit my mother, I found her lying on the kitchen floor. I asked her what she was doing there, and she said the floor feels cold and hard and soothes her back.

Abby, my mother has two very expensive beds in her home, and there is no reason for her to lie on the floor. It could be embarrassing if a friend or neighbor should pop in and find her there. How do I get her off the floor? -- NOT BEDRIDDEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR NOT BEDRIDDEN: You should be more concerned with how things are than how they "might" be perceived by others. If your mother is having back trouble, encourage her to discuss it with her doctor or a chiropractor so she can be examined to make sure nothing is wrong. But if nothing is, then leave your poor mother alone. She's in the privacy of her own home, and she is hurting no one.

DEAR NOT BEDRIDDEN: What year are we living in?  Is it the 1950's, where people just pop in the unlocked doors of their neighbors completely unannounced?  "Lucy?  Are you home?  Oh my!  What are you doing lying on the floor?!?!  That is socially unacceptable!  You should be ashamed of yourself, Lucy."  Seriously.  People do not just walk in to other's homes.  Hell, we've gotten to the point in our civilized society that we phone ahead to announce we're on our way over.  And then once there we ring the doorbell or knock.
And really, what's the big deal with lying on the floor to work out the kinks?  At my work they do freaking Yoga and Pilates in the cafeteria while I'm sipping my soup.  And these are old withered, soon-to-be retirees doing freaky Kama Sutra poses while I'm trying to enjoy my soup!  Is it really taboo???
Maybe the real issue is not what other's will think of your mother, but what people will think of you.  "What a horrible daughter that Not Bedridden is for letting her mother lay on the floor like a crazy person."  Perhaps, you're thinking it's time to put dear old mom in a "home", but you just haven't been able to commit to that crossroad yet.  And the thought of someone catching mom acting all "crazy" by laying on the kitchen floor is pushing you more and more to filling out those forms for Sunnydale Resting Homes for the Elderly. So, you write a letter to Dear Abby for some validation.
Hey, look on the bright side, NB... at least your mom is not sparking up a joint for her glaucoma.
Idiot Ballroom