Who brings a meat thermometer to the movies?

 Like something out of a Martin Scorsese film, a Los Angeles movie goer was stabbed in the neck with a meat thermometer.  The incident occurred after they complained about another audience member who was talking on a cell phone during a screening of the director's Shutter Island.  You know, from experiencing Scorsese's last few movies I might've stabbed someone in the neck too.
But really there are two questions to be asked here.  First, who the hell brings a meat thermometer to a movie???  And secondly, where is the temperature reading for "Human" on a thermometer?  I suspect in between "Beef" and "Ham".

"It's Good To Be Alive"

    (via Garfield Minus Garfield)

Milkawhat?

Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million because of their Superbowl commercial that mentions a baby named "Lindsay" and implies she's a "milkaholic". Does this mean I have a case against Mikey in the Life Cereal ads from way back when? You don't know how many times I heard "He likes it! Mikey likes it!" I in fact do not like Life Cereal people... and contrary to popular belief pop rocks mixed with soda did not kill Mikey either.