Friday, July 23, 2010

Bartender, give me a cold dead squirrel

I had heard about Brew Dog a few months.  Specifically their Tactical Nuclear Penguin brew which at the time they boasted was the strongest beer in the world with a whopping 33% ABV.  In comparison American beer is 5%, unless you're in Utah where it's 3.2% (I'm pretty sure you could get drunk off of Odouls before you could from beer in Utah). Bottomline, 33% is a helluva beer... so, if anyone's thinking about buying me a birthday gift... hint hint.

But apparently Brew Dog have outdone themselves with their new concoction called The End of History.  This new one has an alcoholic content of 55%!!!  The cost?  $770.  --record scratch -- Say what?!?!  I mean that's one pretty potent beer, but really $770?  There's got to be more to it than that.  Well there is.  The beer is packaged in the carcasses of dead animals-- what?  That's right.  For $770 you can guzzle the strongest beer known to man from the taxidermied body of a squirrel or hare.  Is it happy hour yet?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

According to Arkansas people in New Jersey are dum

Found this on

With the rampant grammatical errors, atrocious spelling and lack of punctuation marks aside, I have some issues with this rant from Norma in Casa, Arkansas:

1. She utilizes the old "caps lock key" method of trying to convey her disgust and dismay over the whole situation.  And sure this method would seem appropriate... but for what reason does she take the time to unlock the caps lock key and spell out "New Jersey" normally in the title?

2. Maybe don't buy electronics from Jersey.  Just saying.  No offense to Jersey, but it's probably the last state I would think to purchase a high dollar item like a computer from.  I mean haven't you seen The Sopranos or Jersey Shore?

3. If the computer is broke and "trash", how the hell is Norma posting Ripoff Reports online???  I'm thinking, and this is just a guess here, Norma is probably not in the tax bracket where she can afford another computer.  So, evidently this piece of crap computer is able to access the web.  What else does she need it to do?  I'm pretty sure she's not running spreadsheets, designing websites or earning her online degree.

Monkey escapes cage, goes bananas!

Hujo?  More like Cujo.

She keeps him because he's her son?  Yes, he could kill you "in 10 seconds".  But he's her son. right?  It's just a matter of time before we hear "Monkey Running!", people.  

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

These darn Amish kids and their Rumspringa

Oh Amish kids.  With their pimped out horse and buggies, not attending home prayer and shunning of the mutza suits.  It's a hedonistic world these kids are living.  Take for example 17 year old Levi Deitweiler.  He was charged for going all Grand Theft Auto and leading police on a one mile horse and buggy chase.  He was booked on possession of alcohol, reckless endangerment and overdriving an animal.... what?  Is that an actual crime?  Apparently it is.

"Car 54, where are you?"

"Car 54 here, HQ.  I'm a little indisposed right about now."

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Hotel Amenities

What amenities and features does your hotel have?

Room service?  Check.
Laundry services?  Check.
Free Wi-Fi?  Check.
Gay Friendly?  ....