Love connection at Wal Mart?

Brooklyn, I'd like you to meet William.  He's a big fan.  Hey, William, tell Brook about that one time you were in Wal Mart.  You know that one time where you caught a glimpse of Brooklyn on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.  You remember?  That one time where you took a copy of the SI over to the toy section and proceeded to masturbate to it and then you got ejaculate all over.  William, you are one crazy SOB!  Hey Brook, where you going?

Grandpa, why are you scratching yourself so much?

First off, the thought of old people doing it is just plain sick.  But throw in some STDs and I vomit a little bit.  Hey old people, just because you're old doesn't mean you can stop practicing safe sex!  Oh and let's be discreet about it.  I don't want to know you all are still doing the Horizontal Mamba, let alone the fact you have a raging case of genital herpes.  

Cute Japanese Girl Frolics At the Beach... wait a sec.

I don't know.  I just don't know.


via bundangbear

Happy birthday, Mario!

Mario's 25 today.  Let's take a look how he's grown up right in front of our eyes.

It's Science. It's Rawk. It's Science Rawk!

Drunk, high and lost? Who better to ask directions from than the cops?

Here's some idiot math for you:

+

-

 

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calling the 

San Bruno explosion caught on camera... uh wait a minute.

Someone uploaded shocking pics of the San Bruno natural gas explosion to local ABC affiliate.  But wait a second... that van looks awfully familiar.  

Where did all the old Japanese people go?

"Oh, Tanaka?  My 102 year old neighbor?  He's right over... wait a minute... he was just there... Where did he go?"

Awesome Craigslist Postings: Worst Orgy Ever

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This should be Reality TV

I'm vexed. I don't even know where to begin making fun of this. It's got all the elements of a typical white trash opera.  A dude.  His pregnant girlfriend.  The wife. A Sonic Drive-thru.  It technically doesn't involve a knife, but it does get stabby (thus, the "Knife Fight" tag).

If there was ever a reason to utilize CCTV in the United States to the degree that it is used in Great Britain, this is it. Survivor, The Amazing Race, Real Housewives, Hell's Kitchen, Dancing With The Stars, America's Got Talent, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance. All bullshit. I don't care if Orwell was on to something. I don't care if Big Brother is watching me. This is the reality TV that I want to sit down and watch before I snuggle up and go to bed.