Episode 21

Memphis Mike hooked us up with what he's been doing the last couple months.... Check out this rad band called Rainy Day Manual! -- Driving around the grocery store on your 'little rascal' and drinking blackberry wine and eating candy bars -- Bring your dog in the house, it's getting kind of windy --  Oregon, I love you dearly... but it's stinks around here -- Customer service at Radio Shack = a punch in the face --  "Grandma?  Do you wanna die?"   -- Encyclopedia Brown saves the day.  -- Robots will destroy the human race.

Idiot of the Day!!!

Knife fight #37

Knives and swords. Swords and knives. Here at the Idiot Ballroom we've been saying for awhile now that maybe we need to get back to our roots. Anybody can shoot a gun. But it takes balls to filet someone or go all Errol Flynn on a dude. Well, world, you're listening to us. (So, much that we had to create a stock image for the "Knife Fight"). And guess who just joined the club? Good old Florida, that's who. We knew they'd be one of the first members to dismember... I couldn't resist that.

She must really love waffles...

No where does it say why she is allowed to go to Waffle House. It's just there in print. Very strange. Maybe Waffle House is in the judge's pocket. WTF.

It's got to be tough when you're called a "goofy looking" bandit.

I mean it's got to really irk you when no one takes you seriously, right? You're just trying to make an honest living robbing banks. And you're gimmick is to dress up in a women's wig and "feminine" clothing. I mean, that's you're thing. Dressing up like a chick and robbing banks. It's like a Thelma without the Louise thing. And what do the authorities come up with as a moniker for you? The Man Hands Bandit. Oh clever.

Time to grow up, Obi-Wan.

Listen. I'll be the first to say that I am geek when it comes to Star Wars. Absolutely, love the films (yes, even the latest trilogy). I grew up with the first three and had all the toys and dressed up like my favorite characters.

But I'm 35 now. And though I still love the films, it's plain to me and the rest of the human race that I am an adult. Plain and simple. Time for fantasy and frivolous cosplay is over. Maybe I've gone over to the dark side. Who knows? All I know is, I'm not that strong with the force.

So, it goes without saying that Duncan Thomson and Sammi Gardiner apparently didn't get that memo. Geeks with a capital "G". I'm glad you found each other, because the odds of you finding anyone else were pretty slim.

Idiot of the Week!

Don't take to court.

"Where the hell is the milk?"

If you are so old that you need GPS to get around the grocery store it’s time for you to go to a home. Enjoy your fruit cup.

Connecticut Lawmakers Pass Useless Law

Okay, Connecticut. An eight year old Connecticut boy shoots himself in the head with an Uzi… in Massachusetts. What exactly does passing a law in Connecticut do to prevent this from happening? If some dumbass in Connecticut wants to give his boy an Uzi to play around with he has to drive to another state. How long does that take in Connecticut? Half an hour?

Episode 20

It's our first official, non-beta show. And it shows... some technical glitches, but what the hell, right? Synopsis:

-A bag of poo.

-Paralyzed from her "nipples to her toes". Because of turbulence?

-Don't you love mommy? How about I kill you motherf%@#ers!?!

-The power of education.

-Try to steal a car and a sheriff's deputy is sitting inside. That's a pants soiling.

-Crocodiles on a plane.

-Too incompetent to stand trial. What does "incompetent" mean? What's a trial?

-Just because the guy has a sword and wears a ski mask, doesn't make him a ninja.

IB Comic 4/28/09