Abby Got It Wrong: Slut Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Ex-Boyfriends

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17. My girlfriend of eight months and I have an incredible relationship, but something is eating at me. She often mentions things she did with her past boyfriends. It's not like she's telling stories about the "good old days," but the fact that I hear their names in everyday conversation bothers me.
I want to be understanding because these guys were a big part of her life when they were in it. But I'm tired of hearing their current whereabouts or what they used to talk about. How can I get her to leave the past behind? -- IN THE "NOW" IN ALAMEDA, CALIF.
DEAR IN THE "NOW": Your girlfriend may not be aware of what she's doing and the effect it has on you. Tell her how her constant reminders of past relationships make you feel. If she cares about your feelings, she'll stop doing it.


Dear ITN,
First, I have to got to ask... what's a 17 year-old dude reading Dear Abby for?  Come on, man!  You need to "man up" for "eff" sake.  The whole world is your oyster.  You know who reads Dear Abby?  Old women who live at home alone with cats.  Not 17 year-old dudes in the prime of their life.
With that said, here's my advice for you... tell your girlfriend who you are in an "incredible" relationship to quit talking like a slut.  That'll get her to stop talking about past boyfriends.  And because you're 17, you can get away with saying something like that.  If I said that to my significant other, well, let's just say it ain't gonna be pretty.   If telling her to stop talking about her past slut adventures doesn't work then periodically throw in some of your own escapades into the conversation.  Hell, make some stuff up!  But really, you need to put the kibosh on that crap and my money is on the "slut" slap down.  Now quit reading Dear Abby, go out and live it up, dude!
Sincerely,
Idiot Ballroom