Okay, that's probably not what was said when a passenger was kicked off a Jazz Air flight because of his stench earlier this month. But how, as a flight attendant, do you broach that subject? There really is no sensitive way of beginning that little conversation:
Flight Attendant: Hello, sir. Can I offer you some pretzels?
Smelly Passenger: No, thank you.
Flight Attendant: Cocktail?
Smelly Passenger: I'm all right.
Flight Attendant: Axe body spray?
Smelly Passenger: Excuse me?
Flight Attendant: Yeah, you smell pretty rank. Sure, everyone has to pass some gas as the cabin depressurizes, but you are full on sporting a 'brutal' stench that is burning everyone's eyes and causing a cacophony of gags. We're going to have to ask you de-plane in Montreal and catch the next cattle car to you destination. Thank you for flying Jazz Air.
P.S. Jazz Air? Never heard of them. Were other cooler musical genres taken? How about Speed Metal Air? I would definitely fly that airline all the time. Flying on Speed Metal Air seems it would be fast and get you to your destination right away. Jazz Air on the other hand seems like every flight would be an hour too long with all the improvisation and trumpet solos.
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