Knife Fight #40: Giving new meaning to "Going Postal"

Former postal clerk Michael Burr is accused of brandishing a samurai sword at a deli clerk... at 4 am?  What delis are open at 4 in the morning?  I mean who gets a hankering for a hoagie at 4 o'clock in the morning.... let alone brings a freaking sword to the sandwich party?

A Guide To Revolting At Work

(NSFW, not just for the obvious reason, but also for cartoon nudity)

Awesome Craigslist Posting: You saw me pooping, you caught my heart

Craigslist scores another love connection. 

Is it hot in here, or is there just a bunch of gay Samoans gaying it up?

Really? Homosexuality is the cause of global warning? That's the gayest thing I've ever heard.

Dis robbery is fer realz off da hook LMAO!

The more technology advances, the more we get dumber.   Take for example alleged "inside man" Kyle Lightner who has been accused of aiding Tyce Von Franklin rob the bank where he works.  What gave police reason to believe this?  Incriminating text messages sent from his phone.

"Don't forget yo sunglasses"

"Just in case u don't remember, just go in the front and walk straight... then u will see this hallway and my closet will bet to left."

I guess some last minute details they weren't able to go over in the heist planning meet.  My favorite is the warning that one of his co-workers gets a bit anxious under extreme circumstances.  "... screams at scary moves, so be calm."  Hey, at least he was thinking of his co-workers.  That's got to amount for something.

I'm laughing for all the wrong reasons

Comedic genius?  Or just a crazy dude on his back deck screaming?  You decide.

via danpoetman

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to pull your pants up and stop humping that dinosaur"

Hey, I would consider myself a worldly fellow.  I've seen my share of things, some of which I would like to have not seen. I know there's some freaky fetishes out there.  Bondage.  Clown porn.  German Scheisse videos.  But I have to say that humping dinosaurs is new one to me.

I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I was a bit distracted

JWOW!  Yes, you can say that again.  I'm going to "undousuru" my right hand.

via MissHannahMinx

This is an emergency! Take your bra off!

Boobs.  Got to love them.  Now, in a sense, they can save your life.  The Emergency Bra, created by Dr. Elena Bodnar, not only supports women the old standard way but it also can act as a face mask.  If there were ever an occasion where harmful particles were floating in the air, take the bra off, separate the cups and viola... two face masks.  One for yourself and one for that guy ogling you bra-less. 

Illegally parked? Here's your ticket and might I suggest the Blossoming Lotus pose

Well, isn't that nice of the local Cambridge, Mass authorities?  They're printing yoga tips on the back of tickets to help to relieve the stress of receiving said ticket.  Yeah, not sure any of that makes sense.  Rather than doing the Sprawling Dog pose how about a coupon for a six-pack beer?  Nothing relieves my tension like a good buzz.