Ooooh I'm going to clean up this highway real good....

Yeah. That's right. This here highway is just going to explode all over itself after I'm done with it.

I'm going to clean the hell out of it. Up and down. Back and forth. Sideways. From behind. On top. Slap it. Stroke it. Taste it.

This highway is going to go blind from how clean it is.

A little gas isn't going to hurt anyone....

So what? The kid was ripping a few at school. And the other kids were laughing. Har de har har. You're really going to suspend him for this? It's not like he threatened anyone. "You better watch out or I'm going to fart all over this school. It's going to be one big fart catastrophe and no one can stop my fermented gastric smells!"

Really? Suspension? Bill Duncan Opportunity School (WTF kind of name is that anyways.) Opportunity, huh? This kid wasn't given the opportunity to express himself through gastro-intestinal music. It should be called Bill Duncan We Don't Like Juvenile Behavior From Our Juveniles That Attend This School.

Bill Duncan Opportunity School, get your head out of your ass and let one go.

Mugshot of the week

I can't stop chuckling over this mugshot.

Roberto Rodriguez, you just got arrested for having sex with a teen student at the school you work for. What do you have to say for yourself? "I don't know, but I can muss up my hair, bug my eyes out and put on a goofy frog grin."

And since when did they start digitizing mugshots with blue-screen graphics?

Here's a big steaming pile of irony for you...

Episode 15

Episode 15 v2.0
Heed this warning: The monkeys are planning a revolt. When you least expect it, they will attack. How will you prevent them?
Keith & Mike also ask, "Who's the boss?"
Also discussed:
Transition from the "p bomb" to "hot pocket". Fight Club in a mentally disabled school. Public shool education tricks Mike into believing the myth about the Great Wall China as seen from outerspace. Oh and by the way, if you're on the wall don't take any short cuts. The magic bullet theory revisited, but throw some mice into the mix.

A robbery in 30 minutes or less....

or the pizza's free.

"Everybody be cool! This is a robbery! Now put the money in the bag and no one will get hurt. And make it quick! My thin crust is waiting for me across the street!"

And look at that mugshot. She looks like my 3rd grade Social Studies teacher.

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

Has this been going on for ever and I just never heard about it? First its the woman who has her eyelids, lips, nose, and hands ripped off in Connecticut. Then a monkey in a zoo throwing rocks at people. Now they are killing people with coconuts?

That's no oat bag, it's a nut sack!

I'm Scottland!

Okay, I've heard of a lot of crazy shit but claiming that you reside in your own country of yourself and not in the state of Pennsylvania to get out of a DUI may just be the craziest. At least the judge has ordered a mental examination for this terminal fool. Hey, Scott Allen Witmer, if you don't want the police to pull your country over for driving drunk, stop getting your country shitfaced and driving it through Pennsylvania.

That is one spicy pepper