Abby Got It Wrong:76-year-old father needs to "man up"

DEAR ABBY: I am a 76-year-old father of three sons and grandfather of five. The other night, I was dining out with my brother, one of my sons, his 31-year-old wife, and their two children, ages 5 and 2.

The server was standing next to me and the 5-year-old, poised to take our orders. My daughter-in-law was distracted by the 2-year-old, so I placed my order so the server would not be kept standing there.

My son chastised me for not waiting until his wife placed her order first. Embarrassed, I offered an apology. Was I wrong not to wait for my daughter-in-law to place her order? What would have been the proper thing to do? -- EMBARRASSED IN GARFIELD, N.J.

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Frankly, the "proper thing to do" in this case would have been for your son to save his criticism until he could talk to you privately, rather than embarrassing you in a public place. Ordinarily, the rule of thumb "ladies first" would apply when giving the dinner order. However, because your daughter-in-law was distracted, speaking up and telling the server what you wanted makes sense to me.

Dear Embarrassed: What would have been the "proper" thing to do?  You're 76, dude.    That's 24 years shy of a century.  At some point in your long life RESPECT from those younger than you should have crept in as normal everyday perk.  You did the right thing by allowing ample time for your daughter to speak up with her order. But because she was oblivious to that fact the below minimum wage server was losing precious tip money from other patrons who were ready to give their order, you did the absolutely right thing by ordering your food.  The hierarchy of courtesy in sequential order is: old women, young women, old men, young men and then children.  You did nothing wrong, except letting the disrespect go unchecked by your son.  What you should have done was to tell your son to "Shut the hell up!  I'm your father.  I brought you into this world and I'll take you out!"  and then slapped his face across the dinner table. 
Sincerely,
Idiot Ballroom

BACKIN UP SONG!!

So the Gregory Bros don't disappoint.  "I'm backing up backing up backing up".
via schmoyoho

So, this meme's dead

Well, the Double Rainbow meme was good while it lasted.  Leave it to Micro$oft to kill it.

This is why I love the internet #2

It took less than 24 hours to catch on. Here's the remix. And check the original here.


via relmvision

"Butts Arrested For Boob Murder"

This case is a modern day Abbott & Costello routine.  It would even be funnier if someone's first name was Richard.

Real Life LOST-like mystery

UVB-76.  Like the numbers out of LOST, what is the meaning behind the broadcast?  The station has been broadcasting strange buzzing patterns since 1982.  And then recently random voice transmissions.  But what is the meaning???  We need answers!

Stuck between a rock and a hard place…

What a rough time it’s been so far for the 33 Chilean miners that have been trapped since Aug. 5.  But after the landslide that caused the miners to be trapped 2258 ft underground one of the men stepped up in a major way.  Yonni Barrio was able to put his first-aid skills to task and aid in helping any of the men needed it.  After he tended to those men he vaccinated himself and the other 32 miners against the flu and pneumonia.

Yonni was able to do all of this because he had taken a training course 5 years ago.  That’s where he met his girlfriend Susana Valenzuela.  She, along with many of the family of the trapped miners, has been holding vigil outside the San Jose mine.

Seems like a pretty touching story, right?  Why would it be posted on this site you ask?  Well you see Susana wasn’t the only person there to support her loved one.  Marta Salinas is there to show support for her husband…Yonni Barrio. WHO DO SAY WHAT?!?!?!  That’s right; this guy’s been having a secret fling.  Marta and Susana discovered each other when they heard each other calling out his name from a crowd of the miners’ loved ones.  Looks like good ole Yonni might want to try and find himself a different escape route.

Backing up backing up backing up

"because my Daddy taught me good"


via internet today

Essential Life Items: My Midlife Crisis or How Bacon Saved My Life

In the coming weeks I will celebrate my 36th birthday. For a guy like me who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and exercises like a sloth, it means I’m starting to venture into that dreaded “midlife” territory. Mortality settles into my psyche and I realize that I’m not superhuman. I’ve traded in my teenage angst and drunken debauchery for a beer gut, patches of gray hair and a soul-sucking job in a cubicle. But you know what? That’s life. You’re born. You crawl. You walk. You stumble. You die. Life in 5 chapters. What’s the point to living, you ask? If life is as existentially bleak as a Beckett play, then why even bother? Well, for me it’s those little things that make life worth getting out of bed for in the morning. Beer. Videogames. Barbecue Ribs. Essential life items. So, as we venture into the seas of mid-life on this drunken ship called the Idiot Ballroom, let’s celebrate those Essential Life Items.

Today let’s discuss bacon. 

Most awesome quote from The Emmy's

Carlton Cuse: "We had this statue in Lost and it had 6 toes and the network said, 'That's too wierd.'"

Damon Lindelof: "So we made it 4 toes.  Boo ya!"