It won't be long before the weapons cache is more than rocks

Is it really a surprise that monkeys are clever? I mean every time I've gone to the zoo the chimps there have given me the finger and played with their private parts knowing they'd get some sort of reaction out of me. I usually respond with a "shame on you" leer, a thumbs down and then a very loud "BOOOOOOOOO" that usually terrifies the other zoo patrons around me.

My point is these dirty monkeys know what they're doing... and we humans shouldn't be surprised by their acts.  Is it really a surprise this monkey is stockpiling rocks to hurl at the Swedish?  Not really.  What should be the questioned is this little rascal's poor aim.  The monkey's I've seen hurl their poop with deadly accuracy.  So, why are scientists researching this behavior and not trying to prevent?  I mean really.  If a little kid all of sudden started hurling rocks at pedestrians, the reaction would be, "Hey, kid!  Stop throwing rocks or I'll kick you in the ass!"  But a monkey does it and freaking scientists have to research it.  Give it some time and this monkey will get that accuracy down.  Give it some more time and he'll figure the chemical makeup of gunpowder.  After that it'll be us humans in cages hurling poop, playing with our privates and giving the finger.  

IB Comic 8/8/2010

So much for guaranteed delivery

I'm thinking your package is going to be a little late.

via imgur

Sir, the first thing you need is a shirt, and the absolute last thing that you need is a ride to the liquor store.

Okay, I’ve been drunk before. A lot. I’ve been really drunk before. A lot. I’ve even been really, really, really, super drunk. I've been so drunk that I have taken pictures of people that were this off center. I’ve been so drunk that I urinated on my parent’s bedroom door at two in the morning and didn’t realize I was doing it until I was suddenly brought back to my semi-senses by a swift right fist delivered to my jaw by my father. I’ve been so drunk that I fell asleep in a bus stop shelter in the middle of a German winter and woke up in an urgent care center the next morning, missing the entire ambulance ride to a blackout. I’ve been so drunk that I spent three hours throwing up into a Wal-Mart bag, nearly filling it before the seam gave way in the passenger seat of a friend’s car. I’ve been so drunk that I crawled into bed with my parents in the middle of the night at the age of twenty-three. I’ve been so drunk that I told my wife to leave me at a winery seventy miles from our home after screaming obscenities at a couple celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Why was I there? To celebrate my wife’s birthday and my brother and sister-in-laws baby shower. I’ve been so drunk that I urinated in the clothesbasket in the middle of the night, waking my wife who in turn woke me. But I have never been so drunk that I called 911 and attempted to get the police to take me to the liquor store.

Lost: Epilogue

Awesome.  The Lost epilogue leaked..

Update 8/7/2010 - Apparently the powers that be didn't like the fact the interwebs was ablazed with the leak and the video was taken down within hours. Luckily we found this one:

I like to think of Jesus as a little Boston Terrier...

I like to think of Jesus as a little Boston Terrier.  Swaddled like a baby, sniffing the air for doggy treats and his eyes wide open with the wonderment of just being born into the world.  And I'd rock him to sleep like a human baby, because he was Jesus... only in the form of a Boston Terrier.

via awkwardfamilypetphotos

Awesome Craigslist Postings: "Free To Good Home"

via craigslist

And in other Rave News....

Check this kid out.... he plays aloof until the :50 second mark.

Even the cops in Sweden get their rave on...

Listen, what is there not to love about Sweden?  Beautiful country.  Beautiful people.  But their taste in music is questionable.  Even the cops love to get their rave on...

Hell, yeah. Gonna get me my watermelon smashing fix on, yo!

Yo, dude it's gonna be off the hook. We're gonna paint up our faces yo.  Stock up the car with Faygo and then jet on up to "the Cave".  Four days of the Gathering of the Juggalos, dude.  ICP. Slick Rick.  Tone Loc.  Afroman.  Gallagher.  Wait.  What?