Don't Mess With Texas

They don't play around in Texas, for sure.  140 years for one dude and 354 years for the leader.  That is crazy.  Really?  354 years?  Why that particular number?  The judge could've just sentenced him to a million years and it wouldn't have made a difference in the grand scheme of life expectancy.  


And the gang is called the Scarecrow Bandits.  Were they shedding straw all over the place?  Dressed in dungarees and old worn out flannel shirts?  Come to think of it, why are we still calling bank robbers "bandits"?


But sentenced to 354 years.  That is insane.  If I were a bank robber, maybe the "half-asian bandit", I would stay away from the state that has no qualms for frying the mentally challenged, for sure.

Superbowl Saturday?

Oh it's that time of year again, Super Bowl...Saturday? 

How great would it be if the Super Bowl was actually held on a Saturday instead of Sunday?  Yeah I know you have all those traditionalists who will argue.  But didn't we just hold the Pro Bowl in Miami, the week BEFORE the Super Bowl?  But I digress.

Super Bowl on Saturday makes sense in so many ways.  First you have the parties.  Who doesn't love a great party, especially one that involves beer and football?  The parties would be bigger and better because there's no need to end them.  What are you going to do the next morning, go to work? 

This brings up another point.  If you have a bigger party then you're going to be spending more money.  Hello, the economy needs us to spend, or so I've been told.  So not only are you doing a service for your fellow man and woman, you know they love a man in uniform, by throwing a kick ass party; you're helping out your country as well.

And if we don't have to work the following day, there's no need to call in sick to work and waste away one of your sick days.  It's been reported that about 5% of the work force calls in on the Monday after the Super Bowl.  Talk about no productivity.  Not to mention that the ones who do show up just end up complaining about how much they had to drink and how their head hurts...blah blah blah.  Get over it rookie.

Sure there are pros and cons to everything.  And there will be those who will argue that the Super Bowl should be left as is.  Those points are valid.  But I don't care.  These are my thoughts, my mindless ramblings and you can get over it.

Oh and GO COLTS!!!

aRCee

The Death of Punk

Did you hear?  Punk has officially met its demise.  Murdered, so to speak.  I found out this last Sunday night via the Grammy’s.  I should preface that with the fact that I don’t actually care for the gratuitous self-congratulatory awards shows of that nature.  But the wife does and as I lazed on the couch, doing what I do, it was mere background noise to me.  That was until I heard about the demise of Punk.  Like a doctor announcing the time of death of a patient, the guest emcee announced Green Day performing a song from their upcoming Broadway musical.  Excuse me?  Did I hear that right?  Thanks to the modern marvel of a DVR I rewound.  Sure enough, I had heard right.  It was official.  Punk died January 31, 2010.

Sure the genre has been on life support for quite some time now.  But really?  Did we the have to pull the plug on it with a Broadway freaking musical??? 

Let’s take a moment to reflect on the life and times, shall we?

In the late 70s, defying the mainstream of Disco and the likes of Leo Slayer and Carly Simon, Punk exploded on the scene with three chord riffs and heart pounding beats.  I was oblivious to the sound due to the fact that I was still at the age of playing Star Wars figures.  But in the summer of ’86 I got my first skateboard and after that things took a different turn for me.  An older kid who we hung out dubbed me a copy of Bitchin’ Camaro by The Dead Milkmen. Although technically not Punk it was a far different sound that I was accustomed to and I could sense the angst and sarcasm in the lyrics.  It opened my ears to the fact there was another world out there. While other kids were listening to DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, I was listening to the likes of Minor Threat, The Ramones and The Clash.  Soon my programmed nature of dressing to fit in was abandoned for spray-painted and ripped T-shirts and spiky hair.  To me Punk was rebellion.  Giving the finger to the fat cats of authority.

That is what was at the scarred heart of Punk.  Rebellion.  An anti-establishment mentality.  So what happened?  I guess at some point the machine won. Sid Vicious died.  Some traded in their raggedy threads for suits and decided that money trumped ideals.  Others still looked the part, but were just tourists in a pseudo-punk world.  In 1989 retailer Orv Madden incorporated a fledgling store called Hot Topic.  The store would give young suburban teens easier access to Punk by selling the fashion in malls of America, an absolute contradiction if there was ever one.  In 1996 the company went public and trades on the NASDAQ under the symbol HOTT.  Punk traded amongst the mutual funds and hedge funds of Wall Street America.  Yet another contradiction.

So, the demise of Punk has been a long time coming.  It really shouldn’t be a surprise to me or the rest of the lost generation weaned from The Sex Pistols and The MC5 that the day would come when we would have to eulogize Punk.  But a freaking musical?

Teaching robots to hunt is probably not the wisest idea...

Evidently, scientists do not watch sci-fi movies.  Developing robots to have adaptive artificial intelligence and programming them to hunt is not the wisest idea.  Hello, people!  Terminator.  HAL. Yul Brenner in Westworld.  All prime examples of this.  Not all robots are Wall-E or Twiki.

7 Great Videogames Of The Last Decade

Closing out our Best Of The Decade lists are 7 Great Videogames:

Grand Theft Auto III-  Some might argue that Grand Theft Auto III is the reason that videogames get a bad wrap.  And they got a legitimate case, there.  But how fun it is to try and outrun the cops and feds after going on a rampage in Liberty City while trying to lose your 5 wanted stars.  Or picking up a hooker for the sole reason to replenish your health… really… that’s the only reason.  There have been a few copycats since the inception of this anti-hero story came out, but none live up to it.

Rock Band- Guitar Hero started off the whole pseudo-rockstar platform.  But it wasn’t until Rock Band came along that everyone’s dreams of being a lead singer, drummer or even bassist came to fruition.  And the music really rocked… in the beginning that is (now every time I hear Weezer’s Say It Ain’t So, I start hitting phantom green, blue, yellow notes like some sick Pavlov’s dog experiment gone wrong.  And though the whole rhythm genre of games seems a bit over-saturated these days, Rock Band created many living room 35-year-old rock gods.

Bioshock- You are Jack, the lone survivor of a plane crash, who has discovered the underwater city of Rapture.  Work your way through the game fighting off Splicers and use your stealth to get past the security systems.  Modify your body with Plasmids and upgrade your weapons by creating your own ammo.  And watch out for Big Daddy, the protector of the Little Sister.  There are a few different endings to this game and they all depend on your decisions on what to do with the Little Sisters.  Save them all and be the savior of Rapture, or harvest them and bring certain doom to this once beautiful city.

Grand Theft Auto IV-  Niko Bellic just got off the boat and landed at Liberty City, fleeing his bleak existence from eastern Europe in hopes of starting over in the U.S.  But he quickly finds out that no matter how far he’s travelled, the life he left back home still haunts him.  Forced to do the immoral biddings of the Mafia, Feds and other scrupulous characters he encounters, Niko roams the streets of Liberty City in search of vengeance and the American Dream.  That’s the story of GTA IV, latest installment in the GTA series.  Not only is the story mode the caliber that we’ve come to expect from the series, we’re also introduced to a multiplayer mode in this installment.  It offered hours of entertainment for a party of friends to traipse across the city like a gang of thugs in search of the next score.  Can’t wait to see what the guys at Rockstar have in store next.

Fallout 3- A nuclear war has destroyed the country and civilization as we know it.  The dust has settled and all that is left is the Fallout.  Your character, which was born in the bomb shelter Vault 101, must leave the sanctuary of home in search of your father.  The landscape that you encounter is full of mutants, raiders, feral ghouls and people in need of help.  The story is full and in depth and really gets under your skin.  The moment I realized how powerful this game was I had to turn it off because I knew I was too invested in it.  It happened while I was walking across the bleak landscape and I came across a S.O.S, radio broadcast of a man asking for help for himself and his sick son.  I quickly canvassed the area until I found a hidden entry into the sewer system.  It was there that I found the radio that was broadcasting the signal and skeletal remains of the man and his son, who obviously had died quite a long time ago.  The radio signal was just a ghost and I obviously was too into this game.  Great storytelling.

Skate- For years Tony Hawk has ruled the skateboard videogame niche, with no real challengers on the landscape.  Then along came Skate.  The control system abandoned the button smashing combo play that everyone was so acquainted with and focused on utilizing the control sticks for a more fluid, natural feel.  The physics of the game also felt more realistic.  No skater could do a 50-foot ollie or grind a bus.  Now learning a trick was similar to what a real skater does… practice.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II- There were and will always be plenty of first person shooters set against the backdrop of war, but COD:MWII puts you right in the middle of the adrenaline fueled action and blows the competition out of the water with a frag grenade.  The story mode has a full realistic tale colored by the blood and consequences of war.  And then there’s the videogame industry’s most controversial and morally, ambiguous level.  The level is so controversial that the developers at Infinity Ward had to implement the option for gamers to skip it during gameplay. And then there’s the multiplayer mode.  There’s hour upon hours of online action available for leveling up.  Take it from us, we can’t take ourselves away from it.

Now that the iPad has been announced, I'm feeling cold and empty

So, the 2010 Apple Event has come and gone.  Steve Jobs has slipped back behind the curtain to conjure up the next idevice.  And here we are in the blogosphere left to our own meandering thoughts of what we just learned. What did we get out of it?  The iPad (jokes immediately commenced on the interwebs). 

I have to tell ya, people… it feels kind of like a letdown.

First and foremost, I am a Mac addict.  I have been one since 2002 when I purchased my first iMac G4. Since then I’ve had 3 ipods,  on my second iMac and currently writing this blog on my Macbook.  The only Micro$oft device that I’ve allowed to come into my home is the Xbox 360 and if you read my article My 3 Xboxes you would know my current feelings on that whole situation.  So, yeah.  I’m here to stay in Macville.  I like it here.  It’s a nice place to be. But the iPad? 

Yes, it’s sleek and beautiful and cool.  That’s expected from Apple.  But we’ve also come to expect the unexpected.  And we didn’t get that.  It seems like a typical tablet.  It’s got all the standard features of a computer-lite device.  But there was no “wow!  I’ve got to get me one of those.”  I was waiting for Mr. Jobs to say right before concluding the keynote, “oh and it can teleport you.”  (Apple has been touting the Star Trek thing a bit.)  I was holding my breath for him to say, “By the way, it grants you three wishes.”   But alas, no genie app announced.

Perhaps, the competitors beat Apple to the punch.  Maybe if the iPad was announced 2 months ago I would have a different opinion.  But now it’s just another one in this recent rush of tablet devices.

Or maybe it’s because I’ve become accustomed to being “wowed” by Apple’s announcement that I’m jaded a bit.  I guess the analogy is like getting a Mercedes Benz every year as a birthday gift, but this year you get a Honda Civic.  Hey, Honda Civics are pretty decent cars, but they’re no Mercedes.   

The positive side is the price.  The device starts at $499 for the base Wi-Fi and $629 for the Wi-Fi + 3G.  It’s pretty much right in the middle of that of an iPod and a base Macbook, which backs up Mr. Jobs keynote point of Apple’s desire to create a device that could bridge the gap there. 

But to be honest with you, I’ll probably get one eventually.  Definitely will have to research more on the 3G aspect of the device because of all the problems iPhone users have had (sadly, I do not own one… only 6 more months on my T-Mobile contract and then we’ll see).  But yeah, the possibility that I get one is pretty strong.  I’ve been a citizen of Macville since 2002, people.  I like it here.  It’s a nice place to be.  

My 3 Xboxes

Well, I just got off the phone with Xbox customer service and they're telling me it's going to be 100 bucks to get my 3rd console fixed.  I have to say that I'm none to please.  What has happened to building products with quality?  Why am I even considering giving any more money to the Micro$oft corporation.

When the 360 was released I had to be one of the first ones to have it.  That's just how I'm programmed.  Although there were not that many games out yet, I had to be the first one on the block to have one.  So, the hunt was on and I phoned all the electronic stores in town until I finally found one.  I rushed over and an hour later I was up and running. That Xbox lasted about a year until I got the Red Ring Of Death, the infamous 3 flashing red lights on the console that signify that your system has met its demise.  My warranty had lapsed at the time and I was all but sure that I was going to have to buy a new one to keep up with my on-line addiction.  But that was around the time when it was well publicized that the failure rate on the machines were significantly high and so, biting the bullet, Micro$oft extended their warranty for consoles manufactured at that time.  But instead of them fixing my console, they had me ship in mine and sent out an already refurbished system (#2).  Basically, the failure rate created this cycle of import and export; take in the bad system, send out the refurbished system.  So, some kid in Indiana probably is playing Rock Band 2 on my first system.

I received my refurbished system after a week of being out of the Xbox live loop.  But as I got back into the that wonderful world of playing on line, something was nagging in the back of my brain.  My fear was that because it was a refurbished system eventually it would fail as well.  So, I decided that I would do a little charity work, for a friend and myself.  I ended up giving my refurbished system to a buddy of mine, for free.  Yeah, free.  This buddy actually gave me a car once, so I thought I'd return the favor.  For myself I bought an arcade version, because I already had the hard drive. And that was my 3rd system.  That was about a little over a year ago.

A few nights ago, I was in the middle of Team Deathmatch in Modern Warfare 2 when the colors on my HDTV go psychedelic and then eventually the screen went black.  No image whatsoever.  I tried switching to standard analog, thinking maybe something was wrong with the HD signal.  Still nothing.  I called a buddy and a few days later he loaned me his cable, thinking perhaps I had faulty cable.  Still nothing.  At this point I know it's something to do with the console itself.

So, when I called Xbox customer service I already had an inkling that my warranty had lapsed but not by much.  You can imagine my surprise when they explained that my warranty ended in November of 2008.  Surprised because I had purchased the system a month later.  My warranty had expired a month before I was even the owner.  Strange to say the least.  Of course, I don't have the paperwork to back up my claim.  I figured since my first console was part of the initial release and the batch of systems that fell into the extreme failure rate group, what were the chances of anything happening to another system?  Apparently the chances are good.  I should have seen the writing on the wall.  Every single friend, no exaggeration here, every single one of my friends has had their Xbox fail.  If there was any sort of survey amongst the Idiot Ballroom group of friends, that would be a 100% failure rate on Xbox systems.  That is absolutely unacceptable.

My suggestion to Micro$oft and Xbox is to get their crap together.  Especially, when Natal hits this year.

20 Great Television Shows of the Last Decade

So, there was a lot going on in the last decade as far as television goes.  Some great shows came and went.  Others started off good and then "jumped the shark" relatively early on (see Heroes).  And then there was one show that garners our opinion as THE GREATEST SHOW EVER, OF ALL HISTORY!  (See #12 for that show).  But all in all there were other shows we watched that was worthy to make this list.


1.  24 (Fox) Keifer Sutherland stars as Jack Bauer, counter terrorist bad ass having a bad day.  Each episode is an hour of that day which Jack has to endure by saving the world, told in real time.  But seriously how many bad days can a dude really have?

2.   American Idol (Fox). Okay. This show is one of our guilty pleasures.  A car accident that you can’t turn away from.  One could also argue that the show has really changed the musical landscape.  Previous winners like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, who you would’ve never heard of if not for the show, were catapulted to superstar status because of the karaoke show.

3.  Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO). Comedy writer Larry David stars as… himself.  This self deprecating schlub makes us laugh at his misfortune and idiocy. 

4.   Deadwood (HBO) One who viewed this show for the first time might think they were watching The Sopranos (see #18) set in the wild west.  They would be half right.  The dialogue is fast paced, raunchy and smart (did they really talk like that back then?). It’s about the town of Deadwood, South Dakota before and after it was annexed by the Dakota Territory. 

5.   Dexter (Showtime). A vigilante serial killer?  Dexter Morgan works for the Miami Metro PD as a blood splatter analyst.  He goes through his days appearing "normal" while secretly picking out his "worthy" victims. Definitely worth getting caught up on if you've not seen it.

6.   Flight Of The Conchords (HBO) Jermaine Clement and Brett Mckenzie are the Conchords, a novelty duo who are desperately trying to get discovered.  Their manager is Murray, a guy who couldn’t think his way out of a paper bag, but he’s likeable nonetheless.  What’s great about this show is the comedy doesn’t beat you over the head and isn’t overly juvenile like some other band/comedy shows.  Plus they’ve got some pretty funny songs.

 

7.   Hell’s Kitchen (Fox). Chef Gordon Ramsey’s reality show is one part contest to see who is the best chef of the bunch and two parts a show about how much verbal abuse a person can take.

8.   House (Fox). Sardonic genius Dr. House solves a mystery ailment every episode.  Hugh Laurie portrays the doc and captures every idiosyncratic, cynical insult, which makes this character one of our favorites, so superbly.

9.   It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) Think Cheers meets Seinfeld meets your deranged alcoholic uncle and you get It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  If you’ve never seen the show, start with “The Nightman Cometh” and you’ll be hooked.  Also you have to give them props for starting the whole “green man” thing.  Every so often you’ll catch a “green man” in one of the crowd shots at an Eagles game.

10.   Jackass (MTV).  One could argue this show is the bastard lovechild of Beavis and Butthead.  Others could say the show is proof that the human race is de-evolving.  We argue that it’s hilarious to watch guys put themselves through masochistic stunts all for a laugh.

11.   Life (NBC). Charlie Crews was a cop who was falsely accused of a double homicide, imprisoned for life, but eventually was found innocent and released.  His years in jail taught him Zen and how to be a bad ass.  Really sucks this show wasn’t seen by that many viewers and was cancelled.

12.   Lost (ABC).  Oceanic Air flight 815 crashed in the South Pacific and the survivors found themselves on a mysterious island.  Simple, right?  Wrong.  Intricate character studies of those survivors (and the people they encounter) are told through flashbacks and flashforwards.  Are these individuals brought together by destiny?  Or by coincidence?  Questions have always been raised by the show, which kept its audience coming back in search of the answers.  But now as we head down the home stretch (February 2 marks the beginning of the last season) questions are slowly being answered to what we believe is the best show of all time. 

13.   Mythbusters (Discovery).  Did you hear about the kid that ate a bag of Pop Rocks with a whole can of cola and then his stomach exploded?  Or how about the guy who was huffing butane in his car, decided to light a cigarette and blew up an entire city block?  These and other myths are put to the scientific test. 

14.   Slings and Arrows (Sundance).  For all you theatre geeks out there (yeah, I hear ya) this show was one of those “flipping through the channels and stumbling upon” shows.  It’s about a regional theatre and the goings on.  Oh and there’s a ghost that haunts the artistic director.  It’s like Waiting For Guffman without the mugging for the camera.  

15.   Survivor (CBS) To be honest with you I haven’t watched this show in recent years.  But we put it on the list because it really is the definitive reality show contest.  The one that started it off for all others to follow.  And there are still legions of devoted watchers out there watching every week to see who get’s voted off.

16.   Survivorman (Discovery) Geared up with only his camera equipment, his trusty harmonica and a few everyday items one might have with them, Les Stroud put himself into survival situations.  He must find shelter, food, water, and a means to start a fire.  While most of us may panic is such situations, Stroud remains calm and teaches ways to survive in whatever situation you might find yourself in.

17.   The Office (NBC).  One might argue that this show, which is based on a UK version, has jumped the shark in recent seasons.  Yeah, there are some elements that it has.  But it still makes us laugh at Dwight’s ridiculous braggart personality and Michael’s cluelessness.  Plus that creepy old dude Creed cracks us up every little moment he has screen time.

18.   The Sopranos (HBO).  Cut to black.  That’s how the show ended.  Some were upset.  Some were lost.  To us it was spot on.  The story of Tony Soprano, a complex portrait of mafia boss, father, husband, killer, psych patient came to an end with a cut to black.

19.   The Wire (HBO).  If you have never seen this show, you are sincerely missing out.  This tense drama is a modern day Dickensian tale of the drug war in Baltimore, Maryland.  Every player in the grand scheme of things is explored, from the corner slinging drug dealer to the beat police officers to the politicians that run the city.  This show is not only one of the best shows of the decade, but one of the best EVER! 

20.   Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (Cartoon Network). When I first saw this show I thought someone had slipped me something in my Red Bull.  The show, helmed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, has a running time of 11 minutes.  And is some of those most bizarre, nightmarish comedy you will ever see in an 11 minute time span.  Tim and Eric have described the show as “the nightmare version of television”.  Yeah, I can see that.

Calling all gamers, we finish off our Best of the Decade with a look at videogames.  So stay tuned!

The Return of Rickets

Videogames.  Awwww, got to love them.  They consume the vast majority of the Idiot Ballroom staff's waking moments (we have to pull ourselves away from COD:Modern Warfare 2 just to post on the blog periodically).  And yeah, we've heard the complaints from people who are elected into authoritative positions and other people who have science degrees.  Arguments like "videogames are contributing to the obesity epidemic among the youth" or "they fuel adolescent violence".  But who would've thunk that they're helping in the return of Rickets?  Rickets, man!

On January 27 Steve Jobs will change the world... again

Is it the rumored Apple Tablet? Or is there something else that Steve Jobs has up his sleeve. We won't know until January 27.